Faith walking can be so challenging sometimes. Its easy to believe God for things when things are easy, when your needs are met and when your on the mountaintop. Its even easy to believe God when times are tough, and challenging, you know you’ll make it and you know you’ll get through because you can see a end in sight.
I find it most challenging to exercise my faith muscle, not when things are amazing or even difficult to navigate, it is hardest for me when I have no clue what to expect. When I have no direction or insight for the future. When nothing around me makes sense and when I realize I have absolutely no control.
Photography has been that kind of of mustard seed faith journey for me. From the moment we made the decision that I would quit my job, its been moving (with no true plan or safety net) from season to season, waiting for the day when the ball would drop- when clients would stop booking and realize I was really a photography fake and I’d have to return to work in a bad economy, if any employer would have me or be able to make room for me.
The first year of business (2011) was like this for me. Every two weeks my husband would get paid and I would wait and hope I could match his contribution so that we could manage our bills and maybe have a little leftover for a date night to Taco Bell. Quitting my 9-5 and surrendering to self-employment was a FAITH JUMP for us, a move that we didn’t really prepare for, we just knew was right. We did it because we HAD to because our “knower” (the Holy Spirit) was urging us that the time was right and with no real plan in mind we leaped. We leaped during winter into a crazy slow season and things were tough. I broke down every couple of days as I looked at the bills stack up and the shelves in our refrigerator steadily decline. As summer came in the Northwest, life got better, but as we moved into fall I got nervous all over again.
I really couldn’t even begin to look at my situation differently until one day while talking to my dear friend Annie about the burden of being on your own in business, that she reminded me that God has prepared us for these times in his prayer with the sweetest promises…. “Give us this day our daily bread.” She reminded me that looking past today was more than I needed to do. That fixating on the future was a burden that I didn’t have to carry. She reminded me of God’s Word in Matthew 6:25-26:
If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God and you count far more to him than birds. (The Message)
And as I sat and meditated on the simple phrase “Give us THIS day our daily bread,” the lack didn’t seem to matter. I had enough for the moment; in fact, all of a sudden I had more than enough. You see the promises of God are true. They aren’t in vain and its not about what we don’t have, its really not even about what we have- its what we do and how we view them at the present moment.
When I could wrap my mind and heart around the fullness of my life once I viewed it the way God did, I had enough to do the things that needed to be done and had extra to do the things I wanted to. I understood that God had been faithful and continued to stay true to His promises to and for my life. That daily bread lesson has been all I have needed to walk thru the hardest financial, spiritual and emotional times in my life the last two years. I believe that I serve a faithful and right-on-time God. I believe that God is still doing miracles. I believe that God is faithful to do exceedingly abundantly above all I can think or imagine, but I know he needs me to do my part to, change how I think about Him and my situation. When I can do that, He can do anything.
Father, give me what I need this day because this day is the only one that counts.
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