Sometimes life is just hard. Your picket white fence fairytale turns to past due bills, unforeseen health diagnosis’s and constant tension in your home. It just happens. Life… happens. Sometimes it’s a blink of an eye, and other times it’s a slow fade that step by step distracts you from the path that once led your way.
It’s times like these that I have to stop, look around, and focus on the good. Focus on the amazing memories that brought me to this place. The ones that have built my life up to this point. I need to take my eyes off of the temporary current situations and choose to focus on the blessings in my life. We all have them… the ones that are posted on our fridge…the photos that fill our favorite albums… the box of love letters buried in your closet. Sometimes those are the things that will carry us through the wilderness seasons…
I think that is what brought me to an old blog post this morning. I was just craving that feeling that I had when I wrote a post about our Anniversary. I remembered writing something that I knew even at the time would carry me through hard times. So I went searching my blog until it came up…. His Love… Reading through it I was brought to tears… again… just as I knew it would. Choosing to focus and remember all of the things I am blessed with instead of focusing on the craziness of the present was the best thing I did this morning.
And as a friend… I beg you to find the blessings to focus on as well. I have a feeling it will majorly change your day.
And in case you are up for some further reading…. here is the blog post that helped me remember.
I never knew that love could seriously alter the course of life. I should’ve. But I didn’t. The very God that I serve is love, yet I didn’t realize it. I didn’t realize it that is, until him. I feel that quite literally he is my knight in shining armor. The kind that little girls dream of and fairy-tales are written about. When so much around me was shaky. When the world seemed small, unsafe, and harsh, he arrived. Cargo shorts and baseball caps replaced the typical metal clad prince exterior, but I wasn’t exactly adorned in tiaras and ballgowns either. Seventeen. My outward boisterous personality gleamed only to hide the frightened, self conscious, defeated girl that was inside. But he got me. He has always gotten me. And quickly he became my very best friend. And now my husband. I had never felt such unconditional love in tangible form. I had never felt so….. safe. His love has wiped my tears, encouraged me endlessly, and rebuilt the parts that could barely stand. Through him I was able to feel the love of Christ like never before. He gave me a safe place to fall while the Lord was doing deep, deep works in my heart. And continues to do all of these things to this day.
I never knew love could alter life. Yet his hand on the small of my back kept me moving. Kept me going farther than I ever, EVER dreamed was possible for me. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, and more importantly he never gave up. Even when I wanted to. Even when I begged him to. He stood firm. Pushed me forward. Dared me to dream.
His love changed me.
It has been ten years. Ten years ago today I became his. For real. I proudly wear his ring, carry his name and mother his children. And I couldn’t be more thankful. More blessed. A lot comes with a marriage. More than I ever imagined going into it. When you are standing in a white dress starring into the void that will be your future, it’s not often that the worse, and the poorer are at the forefront of your mind. They weren’t for me. Yet still they came. Amidst the times of laughing so hard it hurt., late night dance offs, becoming parents, building homes, promotions, and just being blissfully happy, they came. The hard times. The rough, treaturous, how will we ever make it through this wilderness times? They came. And without him I would’ve crumbled. I strive to be that strong, that calm, that rational. He is God’s perfect match for me, and the left half of my brain that I so desperately need.
Time and time again I would come to him, broken and crying. I was always received with open arms and the stroke of his hand against my cheek. “God will get us through this. He has not fallen off His throne.” He would say to me. “It will all be ok.” With his arms wrapped tightly around me he would quietly start to pray, and my grasp on his shirt would loosen. My heart would melt. And I knew. Everything would be ok. Without hesitation, and with very few words, he had ushered me to the feet of Jesus. In His presence my heart has been made new. Layer by layer He has breathed His healing touch into the dark areas of my life. The tears have been wiped away and I am no longer afraid. His words are forever written on my heart , and I know that I can do ALL things throughHim. I am no longer the frightened little girl hiding behind false confident boisterous ways. I am truly, deeply, passionately able to love myself and those around me. I can hold my head up high and know that He has amazing things for me. He thought about them long before I came to be, and wants more for me than I could ever even think of for myself. So why not dream big? He’s my Daddy and blessing His kids is what He loves to do. My loud, dancing, random spurts of singing now come from a wellspring of joy that comes from Him alone. And he led me there.
I feel alive. I breath deep. I love hard. I dream big.
His love changed me.
So thank you lovie, for the most incredible, amazing, crazy, hilarious, over the top 10 year adventure I could ever imagine. Without you, I wouldn’t know which way was up or how to balance the checkbook. You are my rock and my very best friend. You are a more incredible father than I ever knew was even possible. I am honored to be the girl on your arm, the mommy of your kids and the bearer of your name.
You are the dream I never believed I could have.
I love you more than words can say. Happy Anniversary
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